So what does a sober person do in Vegas on a Friday night?
all a guy has to do is give me sprinkles and cookies and they can get me in bed
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
someone just drove by blasting livin on a prayer and threw like 6 bagels out the window... was it you?!
He left a trail of vomit straight from our dorm to the bathroom. Looks like we have our identities for the rest of the year.
I love you more than champagne and correct grammar
He gave me a card that said "I'm so glad we found each other... In the pants" and a pat on the head... My walk of Shame wasn't so bad.
Stop trying to get a gf and raw dog some forest beasts like sasquatch
He told me his cum shot melted the paint on his bedroom wall and asked if I want to see it
but how can he casually chat with my father 8 hours after asking me if i'm a screamer
Nothing says "back to school" like walking in the first day with a hangover
Too bad I can't un-pee in his body wash
Does he know you were at a strip club taking shots of tequila right before you babysat his son?
It was a good thing I was on the balcony flashing those guys or I would have never seen her skipping to his car
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
