I hope I'm pregnant just to spite you.
So I ate yogurt with the back of my toothbrush. I feel like I've officially been initiated into college.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
I feel like everytime I call him he's either fucking or getting into trouble. It's really disturbing that he presses the answer button and then proceeds to fuck her harder.
I'm pretty sure when you walk down Broadway and can pick out people you've slept with.. It might be a problem. I'm leaving for rehab tomorrow.
so apparently going to a christian rock concert dressed as Jesus is horribly inappropriate.
Please put me in a whole with no windows and never let me out.
I slept through 4/20 and my roommates bought an entire ham that's just sitting in the fridge...
After pissing all over her van its a lot easier to look her in the eye than I thought.
Next time you have him paint you an outfit so you can do you walk the street naked TAKE A SHOWER BEFORE YOU GET IN THE BED. MY sheets look like like an acid trip
HE LEFT ME THE DAY AFTER I LET HIM PEE ON ME. If you date him after that, I'll leave the fucking PLANET.
BOOOOOOOOOOOO *takes away your hoe card*
i said cake fell into my bra, you stood up and yelled "Im coming soldier", leaped acrossed the couch and started motorboating my boobs. i would have been cool with it if your mom didnt keep calling me the "lesbiainizer"
she said. She was going to, and I quote, "put her vagina inside my dick".
I just watched your fat stupid son get hit by a Prius. Ran right in front of it. He's all right . But... Maybe you should have taught him to look both ways like a responsible parent does.
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