Things I find upon waking: a gay man, a straight girl both clad in web bathing suits, a full bathtub, an empyt bottle of jamesons at the bottom and a scuba mask
I stuck it in and pulled it out
Did she like it?
She giggled?
She liked it
six shots in, he is hammered and doing stretches before each shot
she kept checking the clock when she was giving me head and at midnight she said she had to stop because she cant eat meat on fridays is that bitch serious
I found out his name. Apparently we sat in the shower together and flooded the bathroom.
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
I can tell right now that knowing you will either be really fun or ruin my life
Rule 1: If any of us dies on a trip, the other two have to 'Weekend at Bernies' the shit outta that corpse...
My body is telling me there was tequila. My pictures say it was Jeff's fault
My stuff that was at your place last night smells like doughnuts. I'm not even mad.
I fell asleep giving a handjob, had a sex dream about giving a handjob, and woke up giving a handjob. Life.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
woke up hungover this morning lying in a water raft covered in water.. i dont know if i should consider this good or bad
So not only did I get laid today but I also left with a 42” tv lol
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