youre lurking in front of me
Apparently mediocre decisions were made last night. I woke up alone in my own bed with my fridge defrosted.
And I didn't go to bed alone. I am buckets of fail.
im dressed up like a present. waiting for someone to unwrap me ;)
this is your brother
i was hoping the water fountain would somehow shoot out vodka this morning
He's coming back with me for the week. It took me saying "I don't wanna drive myself home... I'm better as a passenger giving road head" for him to jump at it. Rack another one up for my magical openings.
I'll still trying to understand the context of your "punch her with my cock" comment.
It's basically the same plan, only step one gets revised to "look hot enough that he forgets I fucked his roommate"
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
You were peeing on a bus yelling fuck public transit, congratulations.
Have bite marks on my arm where my temporary tat was Saturday night. Did someone try to bite Captain America or something?
One of the many mysteries surrounding the weekend...
He let me finish eating my sandwich while I sat his face. I think I'm in love with this little eager beaver.
Face washed and sleeping pill taken. Here's hoping for a more sex filled tomorrow.
My dad is blowing up my phone with pictures from the midget wrestling match.
I'm sitting in Madison square park surrounded by children thanking god I took emergency contraception
Wake up. Smoke. Masturbate while eggos cook. Go back to bed. Smoke. Body spray shower. Beer with breakfast. Class. Morning of a champion.
Randomize
