Me too. Send a cab. Order food.
A hot woman with candy. This is what heaven is filled with
I'm in a subway station watching a tranny do her makeup. This is like watching a unicorn giving birth.
I have big tits. Rules don't apply to me.
She just licked her nipple in public to get a free bar tab.
Blasting venetian snares and drinking a beer. I love being an adult. It's like being a child but with beer for breakfast, better music, and no one yells at you.
I woke up to a 3rd person picture of my own dick sent from a 1-800 number..
Shes 18 and still has a curfew. it was great. didnt have to worry about her still being here in the morning.
I want you to get your positive energy all over me. I want to to look like something from Ghostbusters.
ok, i suppose pissing your pants could be considered a wardrobe malfunction.
Some how my underwear was hanging from the antlers of a antelope head on the wall of the hotel........
Just had a flashback of scottish man yellin' at my face. What the fuck I did?
If Dr Phil has taught me anything about myself, it’s that I can seriously relate to those women who fake their pregnancies.
Our orgasm ration was 1:45. No. Fucking. Joke. I thought I was going to die.
I'm too picky for internet dating and by picky I mean psycho.
Randomize
