I love black thongs
i don't like sucking hair
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
His shirt was in the kitchen sink this morning, I'm pretty sure my roommates know.
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
I enjoyed our heart to heart in the trunk on the way to the stripclub
Hung over. Bed full of legos for some reason. Not getting up. Come build stuff with me.
HOLY FUCK COMFIEST CHAIR EVER
People have been asking me if I'm going to the reunion lately. It occurs to me that everyone wants me there to feel that much better about themselves.
she told me she wanted to fuck me because i was "rugged". if the definition of rugged is a lack of manscaping, slightly overweight, and pounding 16 oz pbrs, then yes i am rugged as fuck
Sorry, It's like OkCupid Olympics... categories: best sext, best dick pic, and most effort by ugly. You won gold in the last event if that makes you feel better.
Waffles and pussy, what else is there?
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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