your room smells of hookers.
And success
Remember when the only STD we had to worry about were hickies? Those were the days
i decided not to call her again when she started singing "goodbye my lover" as i was walking out the door..
I came home to burning cookies and him outside "tanning" naked.
He just wants an even tan
You were so excited to be getting 4 tickets to the Whale Rodeo.... That high
He got completely naked and is now just standee there next to my bed poking at my hamster. Why can't I get sex the normal way.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
Officially drug you out of White Castle last night by the hood on your sweatshirt after you cussed out the attendant and stole the satisfaction guaranteed sign because they were closed!
And then we felt it necessary to continue drinking for another 4 hours, yikes
Sometimes I actually rage on Tuesday, come back, and do homework drunk and pull an all nighter.
I should have bailed a long time ago. I mean, he has a bible verse-a-day app next to his dick pics in his phone.
Exactly. Stay back and unsubscribe from her
The fact that we all screamed by Felicia to a bitch actually named Felicia will be a highlight of my life
He signed my ass with a Waffle House pen.
I hate being on my period . Did you know that by the time I'm 30 I would've wasted 1,176 days of my life I could've had sex but couldn't bc I was on my period.
my alarm on my phone broke at the bar sooo i had to sleep with someone so i'd wake up on time for work.
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