I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
I feel like a great embryo-shaped weight has been lifted off my shoulders.
I met the perfect girl for you, she's smart, likes cars, has at least one ear, and really blue eyes!
please elaborate on, "atleast one ear"
And then i had a penis in each hand. It was magical.
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Dude, they're still mid-coitus. Pretty sure running in to high five my roommate mid-thrust is a mood-breaker.
literally just blacked in. Im watching what to expect when your expecting, eating pretzels and peanut butter, and I have someone's underwear around my neck.
I don't want any of this. I just want big sausages.
Well. I hope my dad likes whatever sweater stoned me picks out.
Why does fireball set life on fire? Your insides, your head, your behavior...
Well, I got fired yesterday. At least I already paid for my Adele tickets.
Did you get your nipples pierced? I felt something poking through my shirt earlier and I really didn't want to say anything in front of your grandma...
I was giving him head and he slipped one of those hats with propellors on top on my head.
My first hangover at work. I'm officially an adult.
Randomize
