Also, I'm sitting at a crosswalk watching two Mexican gangs fight each other. I miss you too. A lot.
so after all day drinking, we went to an all u can eat crab place and i was going from table to table surveying the crowd if they though the crab i was carrying around looked like the flying dog from never ending story...what the hell is wrong with me?
i think im in love. he told me he doesnt care if i shave down there.
the quote on the bathroom wall was "stop reading this and focus on peeing" and i realized i'd peed on the seat.
anyone who buys me chipotle gets an automatic hj
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
watching elf naked is so much better than watching it with clothes on .
Blacked out at the beach and unblacked out at a piano bar singing Tiny Dancer.
After hearing her fall down in the shower for the third time, I decided to go check on her.
Just because I don't want to be her booty call doesn't mean I wanna stop getting tit pics. I'm a sucker for double D's
the reputation of my dick game is on the line. You're killing the team, here, G
some kid lit a j in the bar tonight. i was in awe of both his boldness and the severe beatdown he received moments later
You couldn't even walk but you came into the kitchen with the funnel and begged me to put beer in it
He literally knows my vagina better then I do.
Woke up this morning to him making out with me in his sleep, then I had to go on a scavenger hunt to find a used condom before my roommate got back... it was under my pillow.
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