I came back to the apartment and he was waiting for me, covered in mustard.
needless to say I left
Just took a final in the room where I lost my virginity. I think it was god luck.
You were telling me to give my phone mouth to mouth so it wouldn't die.. Should i be worried for you?
Bad idea. College students cannot afford both alcohol and a cat. Unless said cat is irish, and can feed itself with fifths of whisky.
Say something like you want him to fuck you behind a McDonald's. Guys secretly love weird shit like that.
Yea it's a sex scar. But if anyone asks I tripped up carpeted stairs
she said I was laying next to a garbage can in the subway doing key bumps and screaming "its my fucking birthday" repeatedly
i had a threesome. one of the guys used to bully me in high school too for being gay.
That idiot. I'll see him on campus and he'll try and touch me like we're friends or some shit. 1.you're ugly 2. You dropped the blunt in the pool
Also, sorry about chilling in just the towel last night. You know I have ADD and somehow even after looking at you, I forgot I'm not the only person living there right now
That's the 3rd time in 6 months I woke up on the hallway floor using a towel as a blanket, no clue how I got there. At least back when I was still drinking I could blame something other than myself for that kind of shit.
You should go to AA meetings and warn people about the dangers of sobriety.
YOU HAVE TO STOP TELLING BARTENDERS WE DON'T HAVE MORAL STANDARDS
I should've left when he told me that he only smoked crack by accident once
WHAT THE FUCK HAPPENED. WHO CAME HOME WITH ME. WHAT THE FUCK RESPOND ASAP I AM SO CONFUSED
My drunk is wearing off and im starting to feel like this dolphin tattoo was a bad idea.
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