shes trying to light up her bowl in front of the fan. everytime it blows it out she just gives it a dirty look.
dude if i could bring that prime piece of meat home, id be the luckiest average-looking girl who ever lived
A 14 year old with a teardrop tattoo just tried to sell me weed. I'm in the wrong fucking neighborhood.
All four of us managed to throw up in the same bathroom at different times during the night. I think we'll get along great living together.
FYI angry masturbation is not as cool angry sex
do not give him the "i just had sex cake" i repeat DO NOT give him the cake. things didn't go well
slut bingo starts in ten minutes ...
That's all? I'm a pro at gay chicken. I'll touch his dick, I have no problem with that.
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
We just weren't working out together, on a completely unrelated note some guy that i talked to on his grinder account said i could crash at his place
I envy your ninja level of don't give a fuck
No Bryan wants to get drunk, rub inappropriate dudes legs, talk about my vagina and send me pics of his boomerang dick. That's not how you watch basketball.
That's how he does EVERYTHING!
The only person who DOESN'T think it's a horrible idea to sleep with my ex is my therapist. Obviously I trust her judgement above all others.
I don't know man. She said my cock made her promises my heart couldn't fulfill.
I am so horny that I an legitimately concerned for your safety when I see you tonight.
i am currently wearing a bowl of frosting on my head. i do not regret any of my life choices leading to this moment
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