well there was some sort of sex marathon going on in my house last night..jess and i vs my parents...and im ashamed to say that we lost and my parents out-sexed us
his roommates stood outside the locked door reading bible verses to us the whole time...
Dude manswers just said that a guy can only cum up to eight times in one day. I'm gonna prove that show wrong.
ha well at least you have goals.
she has tattoo'd to her hips "grip here" this is why they made spring break
Hey so summary of last night. I threw up in a rain boot then tipped it over on my bed, did my laundry and passed the fuck out. I feel like I didn't see you.
Yeah someone just put a trash bag that says "use protection" on the snow penis
Okay Im going to go have some sex apparently. I hope this chick is prepared the zero effort Im going to put into it.
They sat at the bar while we waited for a table. When the hostess came to seat us, they were shitfaced, and swordfighting wth chop sticks.
Hey, it's Thrasher! From the hospital!
No more stories ab the wkend for co-workers... No one else found "and I didn't have pants on when I got home Saturday night" as funny as I did.
I'm smoking a bowl with matches and a candle while my mother washes dishes downstairs. I thought adulthood was supposed to be different.
Home-made laxative recipe: activia yogurt and tequila shots. Any ratio ought to work.
Just licked cheese from my hot pocket off my phone. I spilled because I was eating a Popsicle at the same time. Send an adult please
Im so glad I make morally wrong decisions. It's like the best worst thing I've ever done.
You are free to stop by. I promise to keep my penis in my leather pants
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