Like worst hickies ever he always gives them like wtf
Marg and I just meaowed the nat anthem. I was tenor.
'm tripping baaaaaaaaaaaaaaas
The way white people respond to them, you'd think Journey was the president of Caucasia.
im starting to measure my showers by the number of beers i drink while im in there.
Yeah, that's not really a good thing. Especially for a girl. You should get a tattoo on your stomach that says "Please wear a condom".
I thought he was kidding when he said pretend to be a dunkin donut delivery women. This is the last time I ever role play.
I've heard so many rumors about me being taken home in an ambulance I'm starting to believe them.
Some guy stole lobsters by hiding them in his pants. We should strive to be like him.
Somehow it went from suicide to pierced nipples. I think we're good.
I am never going on a blind date ever again. He drank way too much and kept telling me I had a nice boob. Like.. Singular. What's the other one? The ugly twin?
Don't be too mad at the guy who broke your kitchen table. Didn't get his name, but he knew all about your gay porn career. Like DETAILS...
Today will be the day I throw up in my backpack in the middle of class
You don’t need a wing man if you have a solid hook up on the pumpkin pie
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
i out mim tonsoeep
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