I actually just cleaned easy glide lube off my desk. My life has gone way down hill since I met you.
Sitting in the library lobby in the middle of exam week. Drunk. Dressed as santas slutty helper. Waiting for the student shuttle service. People are clapping for me as they walk by. Tell me how this isnt college
I just found out me and my parents buy from the same drug dealer.
you should get a family discount.
Jessi just used the excuse "it's not you it's me" to get out of getting a lap dance.
No one understands that once a girl pours a handle of smirnoff all over herself, clearly she is wasted
We were playing hot potato with real potatoes at 3am
I don't want to tell anyone! People who sleep with senators either end up in porn or guantanamo
Me too. We could do it like prostitutes. No kissing on the mouth.
Just do let me go home with anyone especially I a guy with a hair sweater
Best sex of my life. But I think it's because I like his apartment. Really nice bed sheets. High vaulted ceilings. I wanted to lay there forever.
You're getting old. Was it located in a nice school district for your future offspring?
I don't know whether to be insulted or flattered that I am being propositioned to have a threesome only if I wear my cat onesie
this isn't the first time drunken padiddle ended in a fist fight..
No, Ethan, handcuffs and friendship bracelets are not "basically" the same thing.
There is this guy in here. He didn't even get ice cream he just filled up his cup with mini marshmellows, chocolate syrup, about a lb of grahm cracker crumbs and walked around to everyone in the shop saying "hey, hey look here, I just made fucking s'mores." He was SO proud of himself.
I'm on someone's yacht. I don't know who. But I'm on it. There's a guy passed out in a kilt holding bagpipes. Help.
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