this girl walked outta his room as i was walkin in to scottys and i just say " time for the walk of shame baby! whoooo!". she ran away
So my game is weak??
If your game is "Lets have sex, and maybe pizza" then yes.
I don't make the first move. Ever. Unless were playing monopoly cause that's my shit
Yeah he had his two razors labeled "face" and "pubes". Should I be disgusted or impressed?
I gave him shit for taking my sloppy seconds and when I woke up my eyebrow was gone
I am coping with the snow storm with beer and shots of jack. If I were outside in shorts I might be able to pass as a Canadian.
Is it a bad thing that I've made out with everybody I work with?
multiple people will be seeing my nips tonight. not mad about it at all
Major life highlight, she said my dick taste like coffee.
She sent me a pic wearing only my batman cape. She stole my cape dude!
I think I’ve reached sophomore-year-level of bad ideas
and you know that’s the highest possible level because it’s when I met you
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
Watching porn.....Adele is playing in the background...so many emotions right now...so many.
She lured me back to her place with pizza and tits. I was totally helpless
What part of “the stripper has a gun, we need to leave” is confusing you? She’s drunk, she’s fucking crazy and NOW SHE’S PACKING HEAT!
Randomize
