I think it's safe to say that I made out with the entire msu campus this weekend
I swear that men would be more efficient if they had a semen gauge on their penises
Same, I didn't even get to be tarzan this summer
I just found a thank you note I apparently wrote to my bed last night for letting me borrow the comforter.
She ditched her BF in the library to come see me wasted at a house party and i still ended up banging that rugby chick instead.
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
Sorry you had to clean the sheets with your macro notes
you need a warning label. Just announcing that you are Scottish is seen more as a challenge. Those guys have no idea what they are getting into.
I shotgunned a beer immediately puked and rallied. And by rallied I mean had sex in the bathroom after he held my hair.
What a gentleman.
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
He showed up to my apt at 6am wearing a suit and holding a bag of coke....how could I not let him in?
My ex gave me head because she said she didn't enough when we were dating... Best ex ever? I think yes.
you were peeing in her backyard and some dude came outside and looked at you and was like "thats not a pee spot" and you said "well it is now" then i joined you. Forever poppin squats <3
I had Mac n cheese made with weed butter last night. Epic
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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