that's an acceptable place to lick
ii just google-imaged 'sad turtle' and maggie gyllenhaal only came up once. what is the world coming to?
A donut and a mojito for breakfast...Helloooooo Derby Wekkend!
I'm sick of being broke. I had vicodin and frosting for lunch.
Its time to go balls to the wall to get any good D during these last few weeks of college.
On another note, why did I wake up wrapped in bubble wrap. I can only assume it was for my own safety
i've never been that scared in my life. i ran naked into the corner and he just stood there trying to shield his boner from the light.
I went through his pics. Will you go with me to get tested?
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
The amount of times I have been emergency drunk in the past 72 hours is staggering
I blew past the Governor's motorcade going twice the speed limit and DIDN'T get a ticket. God wants me to get laid.
Also, you think turning 23 is bad, I just ran into the guy that gave my chlymidia
Like seriously how stupid drunk do you have to get befor you start finding dolphin lighters and shit in your undergarments
The party bus is stocked with 5 hour energies and beer and someone handing out adderall. Best. Wedding. Ever.
I have just discovered the land of milk and honey. and by milk i mean vodka and by honey i mean tequila.
Randomize
