I just walked by a ginger with a mullet. I repeat GINGER mullet. So help us God.
Facebook lets you pick usernames now. You'd better log on and get yours before homewreckingwhore is taken...
Anderson Cooper interviews Obama. It's like CNN is teasing and broadcasting my dream 3 way.
One little Beyonce reference and he turns on me faster than liberals on Jon Mackey
do you ever just like the smell of your farts?
who am I kidding I don't have any dignity. Plus we're not doing a porno, we're just doing random things naked
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Instead of a hangover my body just feels like shame
That is a hangover
I would prefer a headache
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
He is getting married. In the time it took for this conversation he probably cheated on her three times
i don't think i have enough personality to make it through this date sober.
We took vodka shots. You kept saying it was the key to your heart.
the fact that you trapped hornets in a mailing tube to put in his mailbox does not surprise me sadly.
I am cleaning melted cheese out of my hair. This is a new experience for me
jump out the window naked night went bad
Randomize
