I have this horrible feeling I'm going to blackout tonight & only be able to say 'wasabi bobby' over & over again.
Having him eat chocolate out of you is not as romantic as it sounds. I'm still finding pieces.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
My hand is eating my burrito and not saving any for my mouth. TRIPPPPPPPPPPPPPPINN!
Please talk me out of ordering the stripper pole for a dollar. Please.
You tried to initiate "Occupy McDonald's" when the cashier didn't give you enough ketchup.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
Me and him getting it in is for special occasions only. Like Christmas and when they bring the McRib back.
Why did I puke in my shower caddy last night
He's short and fat and honestly I think he's what my self esteem was made for
If I ever see that bitch it is going down flavor of love style
Peanut butter fills the cracks of my heart
I was gonna turn him down, but he correctly identified a song from Pocahontas.
My favorite part of you downing a fifth of fireball in my apartment by yourself is the shot glass in the sink. It's like you attempted moderation and were just like "Fuck this."
You are cut off. Your giant penis and crazy awesome sex is ruining my body...
Randomize
