i have yet to find a random guy that would make me want to do any position besides missionary, these are what normal people call "applying standards"
I just found a Chris Hansen soundboard online, care to guess what I'll be doing all day?
Whenever someone from high school gets pregnant or has a pregnancy scare my self esteem grows a good 5 points
he doesnt exactly give off the "im mature enough to use my penis" vibe
It's taken me 5 years and 2 beers to finally realize that maybe he isn't the dude for me. Also, that picking your major should be done sober, lest you find your self an art major.
He sent me a picture of his dick earlier so now we can all laugh at him tomorrow
You left wolverine marks
I'm somewhere between sorry and proud
Almost just stuck my dick in my bong for no reason
Just got to her place. Her parents are here and are high as a kite.
Her father just game me a high 5 as they left the room. Her mom leaned in and said "this is a rebound thing"
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You also proposed and then tried to jack me off
You were petting a 40 year old man's moustache for 15 minutes
I went in for a high five.. He went in for a kiss.. Today is a good day
I'm a terrible person when I drink. I went from fine to not making any sense and yelling about cheese in like 30 seconds.
everything I love is going to destroy me, so if coconuts are the answer, so be it.
Randomize
