your head's too prwtty to be stuck in the books
hell yes lets make some ravioli
In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Yeah true. Damn vaginas. They're ruining the world.
He just kept yelling woof and then threw money all over me...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
After he finished going down on me he came up from under the covers, threw his hands into the air and shouted "take that lesbians!" and finished with "and we have dicks!"
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
Maybe I can find a straight girl rehab camp, like the opposite of those degaying camps, where they teach me how to love the ladies instead
Omg. I would pay ALL OF THE MONEY for that camp.
woke up to a case of keystone on my porch when I went to bed at seven that morning.. I think it's someone's peace offering for getting my roommates car towed
so I was eating out this girl who was wearing my pirate hat In an alley behind the bar last night and some girl walks up and takes a picture. apparently we had a crowd of about 10 and it turned her on so she just didn't tell me
Can you get winded from lip syncing? I don't know how Britney does it
Do you wanna fuck while my apple pie is in the oven?
I was puking for like ten minutes when I realized my parents were fucking in the shower and were afraid to come out
One can only be this extremely wet once a year and I feel like I'm bitch slapping god by not using this gift he has bestowed on me.
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