Just tell your wife to stay in the car because you are self conscious about drinking infront of her. Now you have a DD AND we can still have a good time.
I swear my vagina formed calluses just to deal with how big he is
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
Ginormous penis in the breeze, cumming champagne showers into your eye
If we both finish he brings me a beer and cookies, if only he finishes I get wine and cheesecake. I think I'm in love.
We left the knife in your bed.
Also, even though this really sucks now, we will look back on this one day and laugh at the time we all got arrested on Thanksgiving
Running errands with mom, cool. Coming to pleasures with mom for her valentines night, not ever in a million years cool.
All three of us got laid last night. This is what is commonly referred to as the Trifuckta.
Well at least I still have a burrito in my pocket.
we all thought you were asleep. he found you an hour later sitting outside in the snow lighting a bowl, singing the CatDog theme song, and hugging a box a Franzia.
walk of shamed to graduation. ending college with a bang....
so the casino kicked my ass last night, i'm pretty sure i hit a new level of hungover....just showered with my sunglasses on because the bathroom light is too bright
someone stole my phone at the bar last night, naturally, it led to me waking up in the bartender’s bed
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone’s dad. You’re also like a second dad to me as well. And one who I send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
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