You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
You better drive. If I decide to let them talk me into a 3-way, I don't want you to be stranded.
I just saw the list where the U.S. doesn't even rank in the top 10 in drinking countries. I know its Tuesday but....its for America
Passing out during sex is actually quite pleasant. its like being rocked to sleep with a penis
it was the drunk execution of a sober decision, and its much more tasteful than the first mullet
Your lower body and my face have had way too much contact lately.
You found me in the back room alone eating someone else's whole birthday cake with my hands then asked me if you could join.
what kind of one night stand wants to walk you home in the morning? whole diff kind of walk of shame.
If I'm going to risk life and limb to wear a Wings jersey to the Garden next week, the least they can do is win.
And the most would be ending up in bed with one of them.
had a nice chat with the older gay fellow who works in the bakery at the new vons about vday...we both feel that it's a day of dashed expectations & concerns that we'll have to be cut out of our spanx
Welp, I've officially cried in every Chipotle bathroom in the city. Correlation or causation?
why is there a wheelchair in the hall and why does it look like we banged in it?
He let me eat chexmix while we fucked... I think I love him.
OMG I DIDNT READ THAT TEXT CAREFULLY CAUSE I'M ON THE DEVILS LETTUCE & I THREATENED TO PUNCH A CHILD OMG I'M SO SORRY
I don't like kids.
You were literally holding a baby 5 minutes ago
I like them before they learn to speak and after they learn to think.
Randomize
