oh posh. I need a real boy. To fill my void. This guy has potential. He is a Republican.
***** and i were talking about Republicans today. They are usually the champs of mediocrity but we decided mediocrity is underrated.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
i no longer even have beer goggles. i'm pretty sure i blacked out and had beer lasik.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
i understand why you think this is a bad idea but its happening so buckle up an get your whiskey
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
The girl that works the front desk at my gym invited me and my friend to come see her Tuesday during her shift at hooters because its her birthday. I still have a boner
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
Shouldn't have fucked on the top bunk, I bounced so high my hair got caught in the ceiling fan and almost broke my neck.
Witnessing a crazy lady on the bus screaming about how romney is one of the four horsemen of the apocalypse.
i refuse to give everyone the satisfaction of seeing the results of my acting on my thoughts
Can you come pick me up and take me to breakfast then the police station?
Where's your car?
The girl I brought home apparently stole it
He is so pussy whipped she has made him change his name to Toby
I didn't see her "bad karma" tattoo until after I was balls deep
Well I got black out drunk before the rehearsal dinner and berated my family with insults. But other then that it was a good time
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