I saved him in my fone as special pumba. he was just pumba but then he found me drugs
Just transferred the sun chips from that obnoxious Eco-friendly bag into a zip lock. Fuck the environment, that bag is loud.
Sketchest drug deal yet.... I just got paid in quarters and chucky chesse tokens. I need to stop hooking my friends up.
I'd appreciated it if you didn't lick my boyfriends face again. I'm askin nicely. Thank you.
I think if I could use my boobs as a second pair of hands everything would be ok
im getting coffee to go get coffee.
Im throwing up in my trash can so I can go throw up in the toilet. We're basically on the same level.
I kind of drew a blank when the doctor asked me how I got super glue up my nose.
He put his name in my phone as David Hot Guy With Tattoos and I fell in love because that's what I was going to change his name to anyways
You went to a drug deal in a onesie.
We're going to brunch on Super Bowl Sunday. I am not a smart man.
It's entirely possible that I'm fucking yet another gay guy
congrats on being the token straight people in our group.
I have booze and I wanna give you a bj. How can you be mad at me?
I just found an old slice of LIME in my wallet?????????
Baby Shark came on during sex.
She has BABY SHARK on her sex playlist. Who does that?
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