Never again let me pretend to be australian for free booze.
I feel like I should I write an apology note to the frat for falling down stairs, passing out on the couch, and chugging the entire bottle of burnetts at semiforml last weekend. Apparently I was the main topic of discussion at their chapter meeting last night.
He gave her the shocker .. I didn't know people really did that.
He poured syrup on all those broken dishes because "syrup is magical, and by the time we wake up, they'll be fixed."
It's hard to be a gentleman when a girl pauses her karaoke version of "a whole new world," and proceeds to tell the entire bar that she wants your cock in her mouth.
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hey, i turned the toilet into a water fountain. Drink up.
he sent me a pic of his dick and balls out with sunglasses over them like a face. i was at dinner.
do you still have it? i kinda want to see.
It is very possible that having sex with you just now just got me into Yale
Oh! You were the one walking around cradling the bottle of Fireball all night!
When we pulled over so you could pee, you made us stand over you and "make a roof"
Doug will be the one to get my vagina. I don't know when or how but I'm now declaring that it is his. And he better not disappoint.
don't worry, i'm not mad. i'm just angry. and furious. and about to set your ass on fire.
I shaved my asshole for this. That's real dedication.
There are twenty eight units in that building. There has to be at least one heterosexual in it. You can't have fucked your way through all of it.
Randomize
