i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
just used a caramelizing gun to spark a bowl, i don't think today could get much better than this.
is the shake weight an appropriate valentine's day present?
I have a challenge for you: find out where you are. you will receive Taco Bell if you succeed
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
they told me if I wanted to live here I had to get an ass tattoo and then they all mooned me simultaneously. ass tattoos as far as the eye could see.
Ugh I can't even look at alcohol this weekend, my body needs to heal.
Me, him and the recently stolen carpet walked down the road and into the strip club. We had to check the carpet with our coats, it didn't mind missing out too much, later the door guy at Subway held carpet during late night sandwich selection.
So one possible side effect of women taking Viagra is that my tongue feels swollen. You having any?
I recently had a rabies scare because I thought putting socks on my hands to pick up a squirrel that got in my house was a good idea.
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
I just made my mom buy me lube. I've reached a new level of broke.
They're the one who can profit the most when given the opportunity for blackmail.
At least that's how I've always seen it whenever I've been the Designated Driver.
That simultaneously explains everything and makes me very very terrified of you.
Well let me fuck you while I make potatoes. It's every girls dream
I'll bring spiced rum
I am not drinking that devil juice
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