what age do we have to be before we can stop fucking guys on the first date?
Deffinety need to stop having sex on the beach just took a dump and it was mostly sand
Only I can have a panic attack in the back seat of a cop car and have them move me to the front seat.
Almost told my boss I was an expert aat swallowing when he questioned my ability to take excedrin,xanax, and a vitamin all at once. It was a medicinal gang bang lubricated by arizona tea.
Her idea of kinky involved a tazer
wtf?
I'm going back tonight
I could study for finals and ace all my tests but wheres the fun in that? id rather black out and hope for the best
I told my grandmother all I want is a nice guy who likes to be tied up.
I love how you sexted me before you told me happy birthday. Thank you.
Shirley Temple died. We owe it to her to get dirty shirley wasted.
I came on her face and asked if she wanted fries with that. Currently driving to McDonald's.
I'd climb him like a horny MILF spider monkey.
I'm sitting on the couch playing the sims, how's ur night going?
I'm sitting on my floor, drinking wine, and listening to bette midlers "wind beneath my wings"
Why are our lives so predictable?
Babe, I'm gunna be straight with you. When you act like a dick it makes me regret not fucking my manager last week.
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
Your dick. My mouth. We have 20 minutes.
Randomize
