I Once took so much Ecstacy that I tried to hug a fire.
just to let you know, don't open your linen closet for a while until i come over with a cleaning kit and geek squad
New Low: Just set a reminder on my phone for me to check on things I need to harvest late on Farmville.
After the sixth shot I started to slur my pauses.
i woke up this morning cuddling with a 3 foot statue of Jesus. heaven here i come
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
You said that "grilled cheese was much to complex" and started to throw the buttered bread at the wall while eating all the cheese.
I took a few sips of my hugeee bottle of liquid Vicodin and smoked my one hitter and now I'm going thru my attic like Indiana Jones
OH BABY IM HERE AND IN A BLANKET FORT
COME TO THE BLANKET FORT
Well i think matt shit his pants so ill mark that as a W
Also, just woke up in a Romney tank and sequin flag panties. Merica.
I was so drunk last night dude. I woke up this morning to my oven being wide open and my pants on the kitchen floor.
You don't know being judged until its 7:30 in the morning and you're on 2 hours of sleep halfway between drunk and hungover wearing pajama pants at an international airport while saying how proud you are that you found the airport's bar immediately and how disappointed you are that it's closed
I just bought condoms and a potted plant, making for a top ten super weird and awkward purchase.
I woke up naked in a tent. I was more upset that the air mattress had deflated.
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