I would fuck her until my dick fell off. then i would fuck her with your dick.
I just saw a girl wearing a flannel shirt that would make 1992 cringe
If tjhis were a lake full of vodka and i were a ducl Id swim my way down and ddrink my way up
pouring popcorn down my shirt before we went to the bar was the best idea ever. it was delicious and convenient.
Good news. Hiccups are gone. Bad news. I had to set the bathroom rug on fire to get rid of them. Don't come home until the fire truck leaves.
What does that mean when you have a child masturbating in your dream? Is that weird?
just almost had a panic attack because i couldn't find the granola bar i put in my purse. i miss klonopin.
If it goes near your penis, it should not go near the Hawks.
What's Spanish for "I shouldn't have worn these underwear to work?"
I just watched your sister pour half a bottle of cotton candy flavored snow cone syrup into a bottle of marshmallow flavored vodka, take a swig, frown, and pour a cherry coke in.
Just wait until she offers you a "powerita"
I'm 4,715,723% sure I don't give a fuck.
He says the sweetest things but also that he wants to choke me when we fuck so it's kinda perfect.
I need to stop adding people I want to bone on LinkedIn.
..... starting now
Also I ordered a dildo and I'm not sure if I want it still, so there might be a free dildo in your future
Stupid Covid-19
The universal cock block of this decade
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