We are allowed to think Jacob from Twilight is hot in 468 days!
I don't know what is sadder, the fact that you figured that out or the fact that I can't wait until then!!
I had a dream last night that I had to pretend I liked Dave Matthews Band to impress this girl I was talking to.
I guess it was more of a nightmare.
after he passed out we removed everything electronic from his room, stuck in some old books and an ancient typewriter from goodwill. for 20 min. we had him convinced he'd drunk himself backward in time.
So im at the gym and some guy has a tattoo of a hand doing the shocker... The douche bag bar has been raised yet again.
you have no idea how wierd it is to get nudes while talking to grandma
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
she showed up with nothing but olive garden breadsticks in her purse.
He will not just "come" out of the closet. He will fall out, 69ing me, with two fingers in his starving asshole, wearing cum splattered lady gaga sunglasses, weeping.
That was the greatest thing i have ever read.
She liked to slap me in the face while she was on top. All I can say is that big boobs can excuse a lot.
He always takes me to get taco bell after we hook up in his car. It's sort of become a booty call tradition.
I'll be there in spirit. Right there in your vagina.
feelin groggy baby? need a coffee? vitamins? a nice good fuck on the piano?
I feel like parents watching our children. You want to step in and help them but you just have to let them make their mistakes
I'll meet you in hell with unlimited boxes of wine though
And by "I love him" I mean "I want his tongue down my throat.
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