i guess its not very common for a paramedic to have to revive someone who was struck by a falling shampoo bottle while getting off from the bathtub faucet.
I dont think punching her boob is the type of reverse psychology that will get her to blow you.
Just topless shotgunned a bud light alone. I am about to peer mentor the shit out of these freshmen.
Just saw a woman with a Pomeranian in her bra. Way to step up your game Seattle.
I would literally rather jam a rusty rail road spike into my cock than be here right now. The whore showed up and now I might smash my iPhone into my face repeatedly until I'm no longer consisting of any sort of life.
I wanna die of smoke inhalation. In a huge teepee. Or one of those big things kids in kindergarten have that you throw up in the air then sit inside of.
it's like getting dryhumped by a chainsaw in the very best possible way
He is really real. Like I know where he works, have referenced him with mutual fb friends and I've seen his dick. He's real.
Suspicion confirmed. my mom has her nipples pierced
Way to crack the case Nancy Drew
Some guy just hit on me and then said, well you look too young to ride the emotional roller coaster and guestured to his dick.
Gonna play a drinking game called drink til I feel my emotions. The things I do so I can be a therapist
I have poison ivy and a broken finger. Don't have a threesome in the woods.
The only joy I have here is being able to shit with the door open.
I would wear his ballsack as a hat if he asked me to
Dear Ex-Sister-in-Law, I never thought I would say this, but I just found your panties in my back seat. Please remind me to give them back.
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