the fundamentals of my vasectemy are strong
just learned how to wash a penis. thank you nursing school for getting me the most action i've had in months.
the doctor said its the kinda of pregnant you dont recover from
Let's paint friendship bongs
Gin and redbull in a wine glass. They think I'm keeping my wits with a really yellow Chardonnay. Gonna get ugly after a couple.
Bonus points if the penis has a little hat too
I think that's mostly how we became friends.
Well that, and your desire to put your penis in me.
Jk. Anyone who everbeers with me is my type.
So did you grab that log full of poison ivy for the fire and then apparently take a piss on Saturday night too or was that just me?
will we ever learn or are we destined for a life of poison ivy covered balls?
THERE IS NOT ENOUGH CAPSLOCK IN THE HISTORY OF THE WORLD TO EXPRESS MY CURRENT STATE OF WHAT THE FUCK JUST HAPPENED
He snapchatted me his dick and he's circumcised....BRB going to hug his Mom
We put a ban on pants at an unusually early point in the night.
You don't know what lonely is until you've came in an Arby's Napkin
The first thing I did when I got to the apartment was masturbate on the couch
you were trying to drink the laundry detergent and yelling blue drankkkkk
Randomize
