your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
You tried to call the hospital and left a voicemail asking if you could be put on the liver transplant list as a "pre-caution"
the elusive kegmastree, who's mystery is only exceeded by it's power
Ate apple sauce off his penis. Nutritious and slutty.
She asked the taxi driver to stop at the Texaco because she had to puke. She did then stumbled into the gas station and bought a 40.
i wish i had a super power and that that super power was shooting out mdma from my fingertips or something
Quick question, when did I develop feelings, and how can I make them go away?
That's two questions.
My fridge broke, and apparently the back is missing. The repair guy just fixed it with a pizza box. I didn't ask where the box came from, but it wasn't mine. Reason #20 why rent is cheap.
I have whiskey and jager. There's no telling what kind of monster will emerge
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
Definition of cool: he wants a back tattoo of three horses running through a "paisley explosion"
How did he even become this person? Like what drugs has he done??
You know you're doing college wrong when you have to bail your RA out of jail
Taking care of drunk people fulfills my need to be a mother
Remind me to talk to you about nipple clamps.
Did he at least walk u home
He offered. I dont like that shit. I want his dick not his presence on my walk home
Randomize
