How was Slumdog? Did it pull your heartstrings?
It was entertaining. Better than most other Mexican films.
you are hot. that is all.
who is this?
the delivery driver from silvermine.
Also, just saw a homeless man answer a phone call on a blackberry...
we just bought Vicodin from the Chinese delivery guy, this day just keeps getting better.
Someone tried to flush pizza down the toilet. Well, at least tried to
I'm challenging a 70 yr old alcoholic woman who is half my size tonight. Wish me luck
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
It feels like one of my ribs evaporated.
I LOVE YOU SO MUCH I'M ON A WILD DICK CHASE FOR YOU. How many lesbians do YOU know that would do that? HOW MANY????
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
she keeps a switchblade in her panty drawer... i am both terrified and slightly turned on
You declared that afternoon sex will be referred to as "wet naps" from now on
I just need some breakup sex yanno like filthy wish fulfilling breakup sex to make me forget what I never had
So about that you can bill me for the chair but it was David's idea to jump from the window sill into the washer with "clothing pillows of cloudiness" to land on to get ahold of him you have to phone his mother
I just talked to her she really hates you like a lot
His wife isn’t coming to the wedding! I’ve got 48 hours to home wreck him. Gotta go, I have to shave my vajayjay and buy some really slutty underwear. Love you!
Randomize
