No vaginas are yucky and I don't think you're old enough to handle one yet
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
i know im back at school when i can poke any random spot on my body and expect a 80% chance that theres a bruise there
That's what you said about that spiderman stripper, but look how that turned out
judging from the lines on my body they wheeled me back in a shopping cart
Me focusing on not shitting my pants is keeping me awake.
THIS IS THE EMERGENCY BOOZE SYSTEM. I AM EN ROUTE TO DEWITT WITH A FIFTH OF TEQUILA. THIS IS NOT A TEST
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Currently trying to figure out if the guy has a cane next to me or brought a weird dildo to the bar
I'm sitting outside your room listening for sex noises eating pepperoni...slowly
You ran down the alley towards a stranger screaming "you took my beer".... Then proceeded to run into a garage, fall down, and scream about how your shirt makes you look fat.
Dude I bought tampons with cardboard applicators by accident and now I know my vagina hates the 1960s
He ran out to tell us that somebody flooded the bathroom, then went back in there fell on his ass and asked why the floor was wet
at this point I think you're judging my taste in men
I swear I'm not
It's okay, I'm judging my taste in men
I smell Vodka. It's me. If anyone asks it's totally hand sanitizer.
Randomize
