so heres a good story. about 6 hrs ago i took a bath with bruce blasting. and 6 hrs later i woke up still in my bathtub but in cold water
So I just had this crazy idea, and no it has nothing to do with the fact that they made me take shots at work.
the stripper made me go home becuz she had to take her kid to a birthday party in the morning
My boss' voice literally gives me gas
it was all downhill after the free blackjack taco
I just realized last night I drunk-bought a flight to Florida for this weekend...kinda torn between the price and the potential of awesomeness
I DON'T CARE WHAT THE CIRCUMSTANCES ARE NEVER VOMIT IN MY PURSE AGAIN.
Now he's lighting his socks on fire
My relaxing drive may end up as a surprise bootycall in Pittsburgh. Don't try to stop me.
The last bar we left there was a sausage stand right outside and I apparently felt bad those guys were working that late, so I bought a $9 sausage, gave it to some drunk kid and said "I support local businesses!!" I'd say I've done my civic duty.
I can't imagine anything that has a removal ass flap as being sexy
I can't believe I came last night staring into my profile pictures eyes.
I know. His dick was small at the top and got bigger at the bottom, like a fucking curling wand.
If sending nudes to tinder boy is considered functional then yes.
First she snuck beer into the movies and then proceded to give me a handjob in the dark theatre. I think I'm in love
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