THEY JUST PLAYED KISS FROM A ROSE TONIGHT IS PERFECT
i walked into the party and i guess everyone knew because they began to chant "ass to mouth"
sticking your finger down your throat to make yourself throw up is bulimia, not morning sickness, so no, I don't think you're pregnant.
I don't think you have the libido for two women at the same time
I think you underestimate the amount of time spent masturbating
He found my weave.. Think he'll still fuck me Friday? And how do I ask for it back?
My last google search is "how to build a flamethrower"
They were so huge my eyes were just drawn to them. Boob gravity man.
the day has come. I have finally reached the point in my life where I just don't give a fuck about anything anymore. it's beautiful!
Another development in my life...I think I pulled a muscle in my neck from vomiting this weekend.
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
It's all fun and games until you rupture a testicle
So... I may have accidentally just sat on a strip of a home waxing kit.. naked... Assistance is definitely needed....
Need a Dr's note to excuse me from blowjobs for 3-6 weeks while my jaw heals..
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
I knew I was in for a long night after I filled the empty pinata carcass with beer, bit off the top of one of it's legs and used it as a beer bong.
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