just to let you know I saw you texting some Kim chick, and facebook saying she's ugly... good job you're gay now
Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
making cat noises will not fix the situation.
imagine if the morning after your status automatically updated with the name of the person you hooked up with
I was amazed that you fell flat on your ass and still managed not to spill them drinks in your hands. Your getting good at this.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
You know you gotta reevaluate your life when the first thought that comes to mind after you wake up is 'at least I'm still alive'
I got drunk enough that when camel suggested jumping off the pier, I thought it was a fantastic plan. Also my blood hurts.
the reason i can drink whatever i want and you have a limit is because whiskey will never make my pussy not work
By the way, anytime you want to go toe to toe on Doggystyle lyrics just let me know!
Who is this? Did we just become best friends?!
I just found out two girls I dated met each other, bonded over how much they hate me, started dating and are gonna get married soon.
I don't know what's worse the fact that I woke up with a clit piercing or the fact that I didn't pay for it.
My diet has been 80% Fun Dip this week, soooo, no. Not good.
Gameplan: If the cops show up, find a potted plant to hide behind... It's worked before!
He wouldn’t know a good thing if it bit him on the ass. Which, btw, I did.
Randomize
