If it makes you feel better, you're better at taking it in than ass than she is...
Well...yeah actually, that does make me feel better
you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
My mom said she was relieved to see that I'd gained some weight bc she's "always worried" that I might have AIDS.
States back in the final four. Now our sunday night drinking has purpose. Sparty on baby.
Just got back from my 9:00 am class to find my roommate soaking her lifesaver gummies in vodka so she can have them for a snack in class later.
I haven't had nearly enough lesbian experiences to fully commit to this relationship.
Dude the animal human society told us we could get a dog when we came back sober. I cant wait.
Dancing naked to Celine dion - im alive. No better way to start the day
For the record we tried to find 4th of july porn. Did not turn out well.
If there is a ladylike way to throw up in your favorite toilet, I just did it.
My tongue is raw from licking all that salt with my tequila shots...happy cinco de mayo
and Katie got too high with the tow truck driver and wants to go home
video games take priority over anything else you can offer me.
Grandma and I are gonna see the new Tarzan movie, because we both appreciate shirtless Swedish men
On a scale of 1 to 10, with 1 being “good” and 10 being “banging a student’s father”, how bad is it that I’m banging a student’s father?
Randomize
