mrs. f**** your sons in jail, if you can help with bail please respond, if not please dont tell him i told you.
I sold my books for weed money!
Finals don't start for a week...
So the "just a friend" kid confessed his love for me...sometimes I hate how awesome I am.
The visine ive been using for four yrs expired. in sept. of 2001.....i will never question my eye problems again.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
I thought he wouldn't talk to me again. You know, what's that saying "why buy the cow when you can fuck it six hours after meeting"
Hey man, sorry about punching you in the face, also about turning the shower on you. I just really wanted you to drink some water.
It's 4/20. I'm not too worried about "healthy"
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
This Pinterest wedding planning is a good distraction. I'm great at this, my imaginary wedding is beautiful
I just spent the better half of my Friday night alone, naked eating McDonalds. Not my worst start of a new year
Drake has all the answers
He showed me a picture of his family on Instagram and his dad was my Sugar Daddy. ABORT.
You let the ASEXUAL teach sex Ed?!
Who the fuck puts glitter on their vagina? It’s all over my face and crotch.
Randomize
