Where you at
assisting at a photo shoot in williamsburg till 7ish. wassup?
Doesn't matter. I already jerked off in your bed.
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
There's a walmart bag of my vomit outside my front door. I just really need someone to appreciate that with me.
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
well as my mentor always said, "Don't antagonize the man whose penis gives you multiple orgasms."
He just kept pointing to each of us saying "arrested, arrested, arrested"
It's a 2 hour train ride a 7 in the morning, of course we're bringing alcohol
I think my hookup is starting to fall for me. Time to break his heart.
It started as ''I want a romantic life right now'' text. It ended with pool table sex.
His hands kept asking for sex, but all I could think was "dude, this is going to ruin my high".
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
Damn it. If you ever throw me again, take video.
you would not believe who i just fucked on my lunch break
Sorry my phone died. Obviously four o'clock in the morning is a good time to tell you this.
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
