I just got hard thinking about a crunch wrap. Im done
She stopped mid-blowjob to introduce herself to us
I was so drunk, I was kissing everyone. Their sexual preference was none of my concern.
just watched my roommates get stoned and jury rig a pulley system to pass the bowl back and forth across the room.
I've got 2 dollars. How do I turn this into alcohol?
Texas State Troopers call you ma'am even when they arrest you for public nudity and after you've puked on their cruiser. Country boys raised right.
It's just unfortunate. She's a 28 year old woman who looks as if a pelican and ET had a baby. With braces.
Yes she was blowing me but I couldnt see her face. The only light was from the sparklers she asked me to hold. I love 4th of July.
I smoked then listened to a voicemail from my mom...I ended up yelling at my phone cause she wasn't answering me. Forgot it was a recording.
When dressing for a 3way, how do I convey to the other chick I care enough to look pretty but not so much that it's a huge deal?
I'M IN A SPINNING VORTEX OF SELF-HATRED AND HORNINESS
Just broke into the basement of my house via my american red cross blood donor card. I officially save lives
Whatever douche. I sucked the dick that made you. I. Win.
Last night I actually told him I came with a washer and dryer
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
