Maybe i shouldn't have told him the key to getting in my pants was double vodka sodas and Nelly's song "grillz."
Best moment of my life. I just got a text from some random number that said i can't wait to touch you. Her name is kiara and she had the wrong number.
I really hope I'm not the first person who's had to wash vomit off of cash and credit cards.
You know you have a great job when you need a DD home from work at 6pm.
I fell asleep to the sounds of them banging in the next room. It was oddly soothing...
what if his mom answers? its like high school, but hes 30
My math professor just asked us to draw the graph of the derivative of our drunkenness from friday to sunday. Dear Jesus this looks bad.
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
WHY IS HE GONE WHEN I ACTUALLY HAVE THE AMOUT OF ESTROGEN TO HUMP A SQUIRREL?!?!
She's working this semester. Her dad saw he was listed as 'the atm' on her phone and cut off tuition for three months.
I still feel like a bad person. A shoulder to cry on became a dick to suck.
My dad just saw me take dirty one night stand underwear out of my purse. I'm willing to admit I have a problem
Yes. I am out of condoms. I kept filling them with glow paint and playing with them when I was on mushrooms, which resulted in me having unprotected sex last weekend
I made a powerpoint to trip to.
you are so studious.
i am not an asshole. i paid for her to take a cab home.
dude, we were in ann arbor. she's from cincinnati. ten bucks didn't even get her back on I-94. i maintain my position. you are indeed an asshole.
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