dude, best porn name ever, "the Hunt for Red Cocktober"
i just opened the overnight bag i packed at 2am last night. Apparently all i thought id need was a handful of quarters, mascara and one sock
normally i wouldnt have blown him but he was on dawsons creek.. i love dawsons creek.
The walk home from the bar is FAR more shameful in daylight.
The only thing worse than being arrested is the fact the cop confiscated my green dinosaur costume.
my goal was to make out with as many people dressed as batman as possible. I have my priorities.
Happiness for him is a different happiness than you can supply cuz you have life standards, morals and goals that dont include the bar or beer everynight.
Dude, you sent that text at 9:44 AM. Who thinks of drugs that early?
I hope my tampon is in his bed. That'll teach him. Happy new years btw
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
Just found out my rents have been paying my siblings to cockblock me for the past 5 years
Not as covert as you thought huh?
I have visions of guys in cheetah costumes with suits over it pissing on a children how are you
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
jump out the window naked night went bad
Actually, my eyes didn't start bleeding until the next day. So it was a pretty awesome night overall.
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