we're microwaving frozen margaritas its not the same without u
Wow, you know I need to stop drinking alone when I pour my drink into my hand and offer it to my dog,
Just saw an old man buy two cases of keystone light, a case of milwaukee's best and a case of icehouse. Degenerate alcoholic of senior citizen of the year?
I'm so glad i pay social security
I just fell off my chair and knocked over the table. People are staring. That hungover.
he's home with a concussion now...but apparently i'm still the highlight of his freshman year
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
the paramedics asked what clubs id be in next weekend so they can plan ahead.
New favorite drinking game: bobbing for jello shots. Where did these freshmen come from and when can we go there?
well in the interest of full disclosure I have been using a used kfc spork as a buttscratcher for a month
It was fine until he came back to my place, grabbed a beer, HIGH-FIVED me, and left.
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
Being on probation is a nice change of pace. It's refreshing to wake up and know what I did last night.
His parents bailed him out, the police said they found him on a curb trying to call people on his wallet, hahha. He had his wallet open to his ear callin people
Its 6:30pm and dad just drunk called me asking me what the alarm code at home is..... I'm at home, and dad isn't here.....
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
Randomize
