Firetruck pulls up, fireman jumps out n knocks on my door, asks "do you know where Johnny lives?"
i wanna stay in my bed and fart for a few more hours
i left him drunk and in the fetal postion in the shower.
was the water running?
yeah but he said he knows how to swim
Tell me why I keep soberly hesitating to go pee in fear of breaking the seal. Thank you college.
they call him Oral-B. enough said
Nothing says "I forgive you for puking on me during sex" like a Facebook add the next morning...
Chelsea passed out in the kiddie pool. Just added around 28 boxes of jello powder. Will let you know how it works out
There is no way I am paying you $5 apiece for pot brownies you found behind a dumpster. $2, maybe.
Question: would asking the hot guy from the grocery store to "beer me" his number be a poor decision?
Dont care what i do tnt just as long as i get to chug a beer in somebodys face
Would 7 layered rainbow jello shots entice you?
By chance and just chance did you find a cock ring? By chance
He was wearing running shoes tho. Thats like the cardinal rule. You don't fuck a guy who wears running shoes as regular shoes.
Validation I posted a good pic? The lonely fuckboys send out the booty call signal. Of course I answered the call; Gotham needs its hero.
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
