Why is half of me covered in green stuff that won't come off?
You stripper-danced on a light pole in the quad. It had fresh paint on it.
Why does it say "go to Planned Parenthood tomorrow" on my dry-erase board?
For the record I fully support drunken you in most social situations... Just not charity events.
i've never smoked before...when you said wake and bake i thought you meant like a funeral bbq or something
i think i made a good impression on his friends wen i survived 55 cup beer pong
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
it took us a while to figure out sex on a tire swing, buuuuuuuut MISSION ACCOMPLISHED
Handcuffed our DD to a naked stripper don't think he will try to sneak out
He can pick locks you know
That's the reason for the naked stripper
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
He's probably the biggest I've seen outside of the porn I vehemently deny watching and he asks if I think he's too small
I'm scared because his knowledge of star trek is turning me on
I almost had sex at the fire station last night and I need you to acknowledge all the awesomeness that is in that sentence.
Listening to sad Lana Del Rey songs together is an integral part of the lesbian bonding process
I'm pretty sure I just won at life. I touched the bushy tail of a squirrel while he had his mouth full and was digging in a plant on campus. That is all.
I guess I'm famous. Hot lesbian was WARNED about me. Still hooked up with her.
I'll pay you to teach me.
Randomize
