its like randi wears special contacts, but instead of colors they make her eyes say "I want cock"
I don't get why Lindsay Lohan doesn't just blame her bad behavior on her twin sister from the Parent Trap. I mean nobodys seen her since.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to concentrate on legal issues with the ghost of his giant penis in me?
I woke up with a black eye, bruised knuckles, wearing women's clothing, in a house I did not recognize, next to a solid 9. Thank you for making 21 special.
Im organizing a group to help fondle my shoe. Too many shots dude. Too many.
They're tearing apart the house I lost my virginity in:(
Eating cold pizza and drinking a beer for breakfast while standing in a hotel window naked is how I say hello September...
You remember the guy they called Meat in high school? Well, let's just say my vagina remembers him now.
Woke up naked on a bed full of money, doughnuts, and keys that weren't mine. Unsent dick pick on phone, and cheap cigar butt on my pillow. Also...I maybe hotwired my car.
idk the fact that her roommate had a sign that said "enter without knock, exit without cock" makes me really NOT want to go steal her pot.
We joked about how funny it would be if he got pulled over with 300 breakfast burritos in hus car. We walk outside of the school just as the police lights turn on and pull him over
We are best friends because we can vomit simultaneously in the same toilet and not care
Did you poop on the roof?
WTH?
Is that a no?
I’m lazy so obviously looking like a rotisserie chicken is my favourite position
kind of bad when u call a cop an asshole for driving you home from the bar
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