i think he might wanna be bffs again, but idk cause we're friends again but we haven't been bff since like a year. i don't know what to think...
wow. what a nail bitter. i need popcorn for this. brb
I just walked through a room full of deaf people and farted i love deaf people
I just found out that AAA will pick you up if you're drunk for free if you're a member. How did I not know about this?
You're always adorable, but when you're drunk, you're like Chia Pet adorable.
There's a 24 hour period after giving head where you can't eat penis shaped food without me laughing at you
We are casual work acquaintances that occasionally fuck when the urge strikes. CWATOFWTUS. I know FWB rolls off the tongue better but it is what it is.
Gooodnight my beautiful sex angel. Much luvz for joo, etceteraz
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I broke my arm trying to do a hand stand in my shower to wash the hate out of my asshole.
my pupils became my eyes and i slept with a cloth in my mouth again
I just sang country roads at the top of my lungs with my cab driver. Tonight was a success.
I'm just crazy horny about you
Okay we're getting vodka and coming
Okay. Joe has my machete attached to his belt
Oh my fucking god that cat looks just like you after you accidentally took Ketamine
He had a small dick anyway. I'm glad I barfed on it.
Randomize
